I've been fantasizing about love again. I feel so empty and hollow.
I've been thinking of a gentle man with soft eyes, treating me like a princess and we'd read together in silence in a warm coffee shop, where I don't think any lustful thoughts, and neither does that gentle man. I've been seeing this fantasy in the early 1900s. I've been dreaming of myself as a young adult, drifting away from who I am right now.
This fantasy I've been unconciously thinking of is attempting to fill the hollowness in my emotions, but it's failing. I need to stop dreaming, especially since I have a boyfriend. At the same time, I can't help I was being treated differently, by a different person, in a different setting, where I wasn't this way. How I see myself is completely different sometimes compared to who I am really. I need to remind myself that I'm just another mentally screwed teen girl. That makes me feel more empty. I have to hope this feeling will pass, I don't always think this fantasy. It will pass sooner or later. But, it sounds so nice. Something's wrong with me.